Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
