I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
