$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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