Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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