i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
