when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
