you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
