we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
