u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
