I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
the day after is always just damage control
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
