I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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