i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
