So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
