Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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