I feel great
I just peed on a car
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
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