in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
foreskin is a definite game changer
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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