Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
