Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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