Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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