Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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