Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
