Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
