i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
