Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Randomize
