better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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