I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
