He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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