I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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