in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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