Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
My vagina just clenched in fear
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