One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
