Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
