I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
