My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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