I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
