I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
