I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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