Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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