So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
