it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
