They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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