Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
