I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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