I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
