I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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