just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
