she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
