so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
