what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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