I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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