I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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