we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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