Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
She bit a glass in half.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
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